Still Life with Mustard, by Henri Fantin-Latour
This story was originally titled ‘A three-year journey,’ but as I saw it written down on the page, I suddenly realised the journey was not over. In a world of a billion stories, every story has the right to exist. And while I think there are some stories that appear bigger and definitely more important, there are also others, those you want to unwind with at the end of a long day (right as you grow hungry for a little post-dinner snack). This is one of those stories.
To get on the same vibe, I am writing this now with a full heart and an empty stomach. As my heart pours onto the page, my stomach will probably grow hungrier. Hungry for adventure? Sure, but more importantly, hungry for burgers.
Like most in my life, this quest started with me watching TV in bed. This time, I was watching the show with the world’s most disappointing finale: ‘How I Met Your Mother’ (more specifically, the episode titled “The Best Burger in New York”). It’s not hard to guess what happened after. As a young university student, I decided it was my duty to find that mythical ‘best burger’ (mine would be in London). Since TikTok didn’t exist yet, I couldn’t just look up a bunch of viral videos and go about my day. So I had to do it the old-fashioned way, with Google and lots of dedication. From Shake Shack and Five Guys to Byron and GBK, I took a tour around London’s more let’s say, ‘traditional’ burger spots. And even though the results of my preliminary research were not bad, I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something bigger out there.
For the next several months, every time I saw a burger on the menu, I ordered it. Every delivery was a burger. I lived and breathed burgers, dreamt of burgers, and woke up with burgers on my mind. In my quest, I also missed many classes and a couple of important exams, but we won’t talk about that. I, of course, shared my journey on social media; the more I shared, the more people responded. By the end of the year, I had over fifty burgers behind my belt and recommendations for more coming in every week.
Recommendations were not the only things I received. I got many messages checking in on my journey, asking for my top places, and general inquiries about whether I needed professional help. And I probably did, yet the quest had to continue. It was bigger than me now.
I will not describe every burger I ate since that will probably take at least ten pages (I might publish a paper one day, though). Instead, I will tell you the best ones in chronological order of their discovery. The first burger I considered good enough to make my personal recommendation list was at a little French restaurant called Ferdi. It was truly a heavenly experience. The buns were as soft and fluffy as clouds passing through the sky on a warm spring day. The sauce was so special you could taste generations of mixing, matching and perfecting in one drop. And the perfect amount of cheese slowly meting outside the buns, inviting you to make your first bite. Then, the main event, an ideal medium beef patty sitting confidently in the middle, makes you forget your troubles with each passing bite.
Then, by popular demand, I tried another place, a place that has now become my ultimate comfort meal, Bleecker. Whether you eat in on the spot or order delivery, like a loyal friend you have relied on for years, it will never disappoint you. Even though the house fries alone will put any other fast food place to shame, the cheeseburger will warm its way into your stomach and into your heart. The perfect beefy blend of the patty is carefully smashed and so juicy you can feel its flavour minutes after you take the bite. That sweet taste of meaty salvation. The buns tenderly hug the other ingredients, proudly protecting them from harm and keeping the warm flavours safe. The cheese… oh, that cheese, takes the classic and irreplaceable role of the glorious conduit. And just the right amount of lettuce creates a harmonious taste orchestra. The beauty of the burger was so incredible it made me feel at ease. With every bite, I forgave another person who had wronged me and let go of arguments I’d lost years ago.
Before I get to the last burger, I must mention that eating a burger daily for about a year can take a toll on a person. Soon after the 13-month mark, my soft, beefy friends turned on me. At lunch, I would be caught in a dilemma: do I once again order a burger or anything else on the menu? I was shocked and confused. Who knew you could get tired of eating the same meal every day? I was torn, and as the days passed, I started ordering more salads, soups, and foods from different cuisines. I was discovering new dishes, and before I knew it, the time I ran around town eating my weight in burgers seemed like a distant memory. Until one day, about two years ago, while on a tipsy search for food around BOXPARK, I looked up and saw Black Bear Burger. Of course, I was older and wiser now, and my fascination with the ultimate burger was long gone, but I was also starving, and burgers tend to be ready fast, so I went for it. The second I held those thick buns in my hands, smelled the beefy and cheesy smell and felt the grease on my hands, I was reminded of the mystical beast I once chased. It was also a delicious burger with a perfect mix of ingredients, bringing back memories of my carefree past. When the taste of the tender buns and the slightly salty cheese touched my lips, I was once more enchanted with the peaceful satisfaction of simply sitting and enjoying a burger.
Since then, I have dabbled in the fine arts of burgers a couple of times, now with the help of TikTok. I was first in line when I saw a video on Flat Iron bringing back their iconic burger. While finishing that burger was overwhelming for my stomach, I would still add it to my list of excellent burgers. The combination of a perfectly cooked quality beef patty, traditional cheese and a new sauce that added freshness to an already flawless sensation made the 30-minute journey to the restaurant worth it. I must also mention that I had the fewest complaints about that burger compared to many others. I guess eating an enormous amount of the same thing has upped my standards quite a bit. Since the first week of my journey, I have had specific notes on what makes a good burger for me. A slightly smashed patty, a soft bun that does not distract from the taste of the meat, a perfectly melted piece of cheese and a special sauce to tie them together. I also think that I found comfort in my search. They call it comfort food for a reason. In the end, what began as a fun activity has become quite an odd coping mechanism.
In recent months, for no reason whatsoever, I cut my consumption of red meat to once or twice a month. Maybe it has something to do with me eating so many burgers I have finally had enough, or perhaps I have decided to finally let go of my comfort blanket and enter the adult world without a burger obsession as one of my main personality traits. Now, I only indulge in a burger monthly, and when I do, I always try new places. Trust me, there are a lot—I already have a new list.
I will send you off with a fun little story. Once, about a year ago, I watched a YouTube video listing great burgers around London, and the one that caught my eye was Burger&Beyond. I immediately checked Deliveroo and Uber Eats, but unfortunately, they did not deliver to my address. Where they did deliver, though, was to my friend’s house, who lives only a fifteen-minute drive away. Initially, I decided to order the burger at her place and eat it there. However, there was a problem: my friend was out of town. The logical solution would be to wait until she gets back to London, go to another friend’s place or even go to the burger place itself, but that’s not what I did. Instead, I ordered the burger to her address, arrived, and waited on the street for the driver. I then got the order and returned to my place to eat it; it was quite a journey to make for a burger, but it was delicious.